ismawi’s blog

I was holding an apple in my hand standing steadily next to my father who was exactly how I always remember him – with a pipe sticking out of his mouth. Because it was cropped out of a bigger photograph, one wouldn’t be able to notice that I was actually bare-footed. My father said it was because he couldn’t find a pair of boy shoes but now I know it was the financial consideration that made my first walk around Kuching an activity on a pair of naked feet! Never mind: I couldn’t remember complaining about the heat of tarmac surface - might be my soles were getting used to it very fast. In fact after the photography session, upon urging by the Chinese photographer who probably took pity upon me, my father bought me a pair of girl shoes! They were made of check-patterned fabric, cheap but did a good job of protecting my soles as I couldn’t remember suffering from blisters wearing them. Actually that’s the only photograph I had with him; he was really a handsome man. It was 1957, the year that he left for hajj. I remembered the occasion very well when we started the more than 10 day journey from Gedong: everyone in the small village gathered at the makeshift jetty where three boats were already laden with provisions for the arduous journey that would take us downstream of the mighty Sadong, then crossing the South China Sea made violent by the landas which was then at its height, crossing the crocodile-infested estuary of Batang Samarahan before going up the more peaceful Sungai Sarawak to Kuching where he was to take the Rajah Brooke to Jeddah. At the jetty-head, I vividly remembered seeing my father’s last surviving sister planting her kisses on my father’s forehead and cuddling him very hard as if he was a small boy and all those present were crying when the azan that marked the time for our departure was called. I was a young lad of barely three then but because the journey was filled with all sorts of hazards that it looked like Jason’s quest for the Golden Fleece, it was embedded fully in my memory forever. In fact, for the next three months on the Rajah Brooke, it was really that journey as far as my father was concerned: his passion for knowledge was renowned and he took the opportunity to learn from any and every man on board and at the ports-of-calls who could offer him something new or old to learn. After almost a year of absence, the villagers were able to learn a lot of new things through him, especially about the Holy Land when he was back teaching in the village mosque. That was my father, a man totally consumed by nothing else but the search of knowledge; to him hajj was not just a journey to the Holy Land but a semester of life on a journey of knowledge and enlightenment and I could never get even close to that.

After the hajj he was mostly bedridden with tuberculosis which ravaged the lives of the young and old and was then the main killer disease in the rural areas. Even in his most sick days my father never tired out telling me stories about his journey. He didn’t hide the fact that amongst his children, he was banking on me to retrace his footsteps towards the Haramain al-Shariffayeen; the stories were so vivid that I almost could picture the beauty of the holy cities in my mind. I retraced the narrow streets and alleys of Makkah and Madinah that my father passed by every day on his way to or from either the Haramain to pray and to study under tutorship of renowned Jawi scholars residing in the Holy Land when for two years from mid-1985 I was fortunate to be invited to teach at King Abdulaziz University, Jeddah. As a student of urban planning, landscape architecture and architecture, I understood why he was awe-struck by the beauty of the holy cities: in every layer of the townscape were embedded elements and features of knowledge that draw man subconsciously towards total submission to the Creator. Yes, right in the middle of Makkah, at its lowest point, was the famous black cube, the Kaabah, in all its simple beauty and splendour; words were lost to describe my feeling when viewing it for the first time as I walked under the famous Bab al-Salam. The only thing I remembered uttering then were words of thank to Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala for fulfilling my father’s biggest wish. With His blessing for the next two years I seldom missed the chance to do solatul jumaat in the Masjidal Haram. I took the opportunity to do numerous umrah and of course my first hajj, making du’a that my father’s roh be amongst the blessed. Most importantly I had the opportunity to invite my mother for hajj and showing her places and spots my father had narrated so eloquently to us; my mother’s eyes were wet not only for joy of being there but at the memory a dear husband who left her at their happiest time. During all these activities the environmental designer in me was always there and I began to entertain a dream that one day I might contribute towards the development of this holy abode – that would certainly be the apex of my intellectual and professional achievement!

People said when you are in the Masjidal Haram, make as much du’a as possible; even ones that border on the impossible because for Allah nothing is impossible. I made only one du’a and that was that Allah would make me His true servant and that whatever knowledge that I might acquire in my pauperized life be utilized in His service. I knew the du’a was beginning to be fulfilled when out-of-the blue I got invited to give my one-sen worth of contribution to a university that has an Ummatic mission of recapturing the central role of Islam in the acquisition of all branches of knowledge; this I did through both the normal academic activities of a lecturer and academic administrator as well as being made in-charge of the management of the development, construction and maintenance of its campuses. I guess that was not too bad for a boy born and bred in the most remote of remotest places in the world and whose first pair of shoes were actually girl shoes!

After my term as a member of the Top Management was completed, I thought that was it and I was to return to the lecture theatres and studios fully satisfied and contented that I had reached the apex of my profession. Honestly, I didn’t care nor did I ask for anything else either positions or glamorous titles. In full sincerity I doubted that I would have been able to shoulder the burden of those added ‘loads’ and still be the Mawi that my father or I had always wanted me to be. The fact that I never entered the ‘Comfort Zone’ while holding these positions made my return to ‘normal life’ a much awaited moment and truly it was like coming home to KAED. From December, 2005, I was going full steam on a mission that was interrupted by my ‘accidental inductions’ into administrative positions when I was most of the times three and a few times, four-in-one and these have taken huge toll on my health and sanity. I was determined that from then on it would only be teaching and research - following in the footsteps of my father. True enough I never felt happier in my life than when I was in front of a seminar room, a lecture theatre or a studio – amongst my students and having intellectual discourses with them; I was in my elements. Allah had answered my prayers in full and I am fully satisfied and ever grateful for His bounties. So I thought!

I was in the midst of bargaining for a pair of cheap T-shirts in the famous but deafening Namdeamon Market, in the heart of the bustling City of Seoul, Korea when my hand phone rang; it’s true that this gadget is like a dog-leash – it never lets you off even for a second especially when it’s on a roaming mode. We had just arrived to attend Asia-Pacific Conference on Balanced Scorecard and to receive the induction of IIUM into the BSC Hall of Fame - a feat of which IIUM was actually the no.3 university in the world to have done so and being the person responsible for the adoption of BSC into IIUM system, I was really excited about the prospect. In the between the dint and bustle of a very busy market, I was barely able to detect a heavily accented English of an Arab on the other side. He was mouthing a message: I had been chosen to be one of the four members of the “Visioning the Haram Makkah”. He explained that it was an international committee of scholars recently set up by a royal decree of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, the Khadamain al-Shariffayeen, tasked with developing ideas and design brief on the expansion and future development of Masjidal Haram in Makkah al- Mukarramah! The committee was also entrusted with evaluating and recommending on the proposals submitted by a selected list of international architectural offices. The caller said that he would be making arrangement for me to be at the first workshop with the other three members of the committee who were from Turkey, Switzerland and Saudi Arabia and the members of the secretariat on the 4-5^th October, 2008 if I were to agree to the appointment. He ran through the list and I realized that they were all the most prominent architects and planners in the Muslim World. My God, why did I deserve to be listed among the luminaries of Muslim architects and planners? If at all, I was and still is a poor student of Islamic urbanism. The next question is: why did he even entertain the idea that I might not agree? I remembered having the sensation that my knees were wobbling as I tried to make out what he was saying but somehow I managed to blurt out my profuse thanks for the honour and gave him my affirmative confirmation. I paid for the T-Shirts without bothering to haggle on the price anymore; I didn’t do anymore shopping for the day, my mind was numb. Is there a better honour than this for a Muslim professional?

I ran through my mind other things that had happened to me before this. When He made me took charge of setting up of KAED in 1996, the first school of environmental design purposely set up to revive the glory of Islam in built environment, I followed closely the philosophy of umraniyet, introducing not only the civilizational approach to the study of the various fields of environmental design but making sure that we perfected them with Islamic values and ethics. I thought that was tough enough for somebody whose religious knowledge was derived from a father-teacher who was always bedridden and even that process came to a close with his passing away when I was barely 13 years old. Then when He made me in-charge of the planning, development and construction of IIUM campuses through a casual phone call from Dr. AbdulHamid AbuSulayman, then the rector, my body shivered like I was seized by sudden high fever and I remembered crying the whole night as I was afraid that the task was too big for me to deliver for I knew then that not only the youths from all corners of the Islamic World were to populate these campuses but also cream-of-the creme scholars in whose hands the future of the Ummah were being molded. I responded by steering the development of the campus towards realizing the sanctuaries for scholars in the service of the Ummah - perhaps a set of utopia for scholars and students. Now Allah has asked me to take on the biggest of them all: the mosque in the middle of which is the spot that marks the meeting point of the qiblat for all Muslims! The confirmation letter promised arrived this morning. I haven’t clue on how I am going to respond to this but like the previous ones, I’m sure He is going to make it clear to me for I always held a belief that when a task given without asking, Allah guides one’s every step of the way - I place myself totally in His care.

A slave never decline a task given by his Master and I am not going to be the first one to do so despite the frightening monumentality of this task. Though huge, this task is not one for just anyone, least of all I, to crow about as it is certainly a task of huge responsibility. “Allah, my Lord! You have answered the du`a of my parents. You have answered my du`a. Nothing is impossible for You as You are Rabbul`alamin. You have honoured me. You have honoured my father and mother. May the little contribution I am going to make lights up their subterranean abodes and the path they will follow to submit themselves to you on yaumul kiamah on the Plain of Mahsar where you will grant them abode in Your Jannah. I am humbled by this honour. I am ever thankful to You. You have picked me from millions of your servants who could have done equally if not better than me and I am ever grateful. But You are also fully aware of my limitations and the paucity of my knowledge because knowledge resides only with You. Let it flows my way so that I may be guided in this monumental task. I am, as You are fully aware is just a small speck, an iota of a dirt of existence in the speckle of Your Splendour; I am a destitute among beggars for Your Infinite Bounties and Mercy. Allah, my Lord! I am thankful for the honour that you have now bestowed upon me as none is better than Yours. If this is another test from You, then grant me Your Guidance so that I may deliver on it to Your greatest satisfaction because You have knowledge of what was in the past as well as what are in future. Grant me, my Lord, knowledge and sabrun jamilun that I may deliver for the Ummah and thus honour Your choice of me for this monumental task. Allah, turn Your face towards me as You have always done in the past and answer the prayers of my parents, teachers, loved ones and friends who have always accompany my every footstep with kindness, love, du`a and nasihah. Allah, my Lord, Shower upon everyone of my teachers blessing for they have taught me your knowledge that equip my life to serve You. My Lord, You sent a few people to me and they have made special contributions to my life: Shower upon Cikgu Omar Mahda Abdul Samad happiness for it was him who saved me from life of blissful ignorance. Bless Tan Sri Ainuddin Wahid for it was him who opened my eyes to the dynamism of Islam and dull my eyes to the false glow of modernism. Bless Dr. AbdulHamid AbuSulayman who freed me from conventionality and challenged my mind and intellect to reach for beyond the horizon and shower upon Prof. Mohd. Kamal Hassan for it was his willingness to reach out his hand of friendship to this unlettered pauper and his unfailing guidance that channeled my energy in servitude to seek only Your pleasure. Be kind to Prof. Mansor and Kakak for it was him that helped me see the hikmah of hardship. Bless and guide my all beloved students so they may be sons and daughters that are kind to their parents and rahmah to the society. Bless be my friends and colleagues both past and present for their unfailing faith in me. Ameen!”

Since this happened in the last 10 days of Ramadhan, my wife remarked that it’s like I had been blessed with meeting Lailatul Qadr; it might just be. My brothers and sisters-in-Islam, please pray for me so that I may continue to serve you and the Ummah!